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Posted Fri 8 December 2017

Don’t we all want to look beautiful? And young, pert, smooth skinned and glowing with health. If there’s a quick fix to beauty, we’re up for it. Early nights, eating our greens and hitting the gym are hard work – give me a jar of magic to do the trick any day.

A look at any magazine shows we are not alone. The ads promise the world will fall at our feet if we buy the cream, use the serum or spritz the lotion. And what lengths we’ll go to. Coffee enema anyone? A quick espresso where the sun don’t shine and who knows how lively we’ll feel! If that’s a bit hard core, you can opt for a spiritual enema instead. Have a shaman flush out your soul to cleanse your past lives.

So how to tell what works? If stats are your thing, you may opt for a product that promises 12.8% more smoothness with a 30.4% plumper face, that’s 51.1% more toned. Imagine the breathless comment across the breakfast table: ‘Darling, you’re 17% more beautiful this morning!’ And your fine lines are 21.8% less visible than this time last week!’

Or perhaps you’ve seen a retouched celeb in the latest ad and want to look like Kylie, Nicole or Cheryl. If it works for them, surely some of the magic will rub off on me. Personally I’m a sucker for blurring products, so much so that I risk becoming totally out of focus. And I do love BB, CC and DD creams. Not sure what the letters stand for, but I’m surely worth it. (Just read about the new EE creams which I can’t wait to try.)

Or what about weird and wonderful ingredients? Snail slime, bull semen and bird droppings are all ingredients of beauty treatments. Er, no thanks!

Who doesn’t love a gorgeously packaged cream that smells divine. It’s a little luxury, a princess moment after the chores. But perhaps we know secretly to take the claims with a pinch of salt. 203 detoxified complexions in each bottle? 479 better nights sleep in each jar? We’re sceptical.

When it comes to plastic surgery, you won’t find the spin, empty promises and smoke and mirrors that surround some cosmetic products. A plastic surgeon will give you evidence based facts. What is more, they will go to great lengths to ensure that your expectations are realistic. While your nose may be neater, or your eyelid sagging skin removed, no surgeon will claim to transform your life. You will be the same person in the same world, albeit with your inner arms firmer or your ears less protruding.

Any reputable plastic surgeon will be a member of The British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons or The British Association of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons, bodies which have signed up to strict code of practice overseen by the General Medical Council. These surgeons can only make claims which are honest and truthful. They must always give patients a two week cooling off period between a consultation and their surgery, and if they cannot personally provide post operative care, they will always arrange for a named, appropriately qualified colleague to look after you.

When looking for a surgeon, check they are a member of one of these organisations. You will be in safe hands. Oh, and if you’re after either a spiritual or a coffee enema, you’ll need to look elsewhere. They are surgeons not shamans.

Patience Wellbeing, Plastic Surgery Blogger