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Posted Wed 28 November 2018

Happy Christmas! Seasons Greetings! Cool Yule! Whatever greeting floats your boat, keep out of A&E. The plastic surgeons would love you to be safe at home instead of having a hand injury repaired following your insistence on sawing that Christmas tree base down to size, or a plastic horse extracted from your bundle of joy’s nostril.

From lacerations received whilst carving the turkey, to scalds draining the sprouts and eye injuries due to poorly aimed champagne corks, Christmas is fraught with danger. The three wise men would never use real candles on their tree. Nor do they allow decorations on a hospital ward, ever since tinsel interfered with a patient’s breathing apparatus. The manger was devoid of easily injested small objects. The frozen sod referred to in carols of yore, would have done well to call an Uber or at least to tell his friends where he was heading so they could raise the alarm when he didn’t come home.

If you’re doing shots to numb the pain of endless TV repeats, alternate with water and sausage rolls (vegan substitute just as effective) to soak up the alcohol. If Santa Baby is asleep in his crib, make sure at least one adult is clear headed enough to keep an eye on him. If it’s deep and crisp and even outside, watch your step. Slipping on the ice could see you on crutches.

And if you are feeling vulnerable – it’s a lonely time of year – there are so many organisations who would love your help. From homeless charities to help for the elderly, someone would really value your Christmas presence.

On the other hand, if you’re finding joy to the world thin on the ground, give your family members some space. Find a quiet corner to count your blessings, even if they’re driving you up the wall.

Happy Christmas however you celebrate it and whatever you believe!

Catherine Cowen writing as Patience Wellbeing, Plastic Surgery Blogger