SPARE MY BLUSHES
Fri 1 March 2019
If you read the paper, glance at your phone or check out Facebook you won’t be able to miss what Kim, Gwynnie and Katie are up to. Their plastic surgery antics fill column inches as tightly as their underwiring. So much to worry about, so little time. Are you an innie or an outie? Is your lady-garden selfie fit? What about your earlobes? Too droopy, too pixie or just over stretched? Mirror mirror on the wall, what’s the most far-fetched procedure of them all? Quick while I filter my photos!
HAPPY OLD YOU
Wed 23 January 2019
I’ll happily while away hours in a museum or rootling around in an antiques shop. Give me a bonnet drama over a police procedural any day. Fine wine and mature cheddar, vintage cars, retro styling and priceless antiques: I love a bit of age. I guess that’s just as well because that’s what I see when I look in the mirror. The face staring back is preloved, albeit with one careful owner, a lady driver.
Our Practice Nurse
Fri 21 December 2018
You may have seen our Practice Nurse mentioned on our website and wondered why we have one. Isn’t that like at the GP, where you have your travel jabs or baby checks? Why do we have one in a plastic surgery practice?
Plastic surgery - just fun on your mobile?
Wed 19 December 2018
At a party recently, between sips of her spritz, a friend commented: ‘I know those plastic surgery games for kids have been attracting negative attention in the press, but I guess you’re in favour of them?’ I nearly choked on my Bellini. Where to begin?
Wed 28 November 2018
Happy Christmas! Seasons Greetings! Cool Yule! Whatever greeting floats your boat, keep out of A&E. The plastic surgeons would love you to be safe at home instead of having a hand injury repaired following your insistence on sawing that Christmas tree base down to size, or a plastic horse extracted from your bundle of joy’s nostril.
LOVE YOUR BODY
Fri 2 November 2018
I have a friend who talks about her body as if it were a decrepit building: ‘Got to shore up the crumbling edifice!’ she laughs, surveying her face in the mirror. Another references hair removal as if tackling some overgrown waste ground. Rather than celebrating our bodies we wage war on them. Well, why not call a temporary ceasefire? Hang out a white flag and cease hositilities for a moment?
HIGH STREET INJECTABLES - Why you shouldn't
Wed 12 September 2018
I popped out for some shampoo and handcream the other day and noticed an advert for facial injectables instore. Convenient and cheap - what’s not to like?
IS IT JUST ME?
Wed 22 August 2018
It’s time to pack and my new swimming costume lies on the bed. Sadly it has a better figure than I do. Thanks to the wonders of Lycra, it will push me out and hold me in and just about make me confident enough to lie on the beach. Is it just me who has a tiny hankering for thick black tights or high waisted jeans? I’ve exfoliated, depilated, buffed, tweezed, painted, coutoured, cut carbs and conditioned. I’ve learnt how to stand in holiday snaps to show my best side, and I’ve vowed to cut the Prosecco until we set off in a last ditch attempt to shed a few more pounds.
Wed 11 July 2018
If you’re like me, the summer has crept up on you when you weren’t looking. One moment it’s Easter and hailing, next minute it’s summer and you’re supposed to be bikini ready. Guess who forgot to schedule in their appointments. With a six week post op recovery period, it’s now too late to be up and running again for the summer holiday. Emergency measures are called for. Here is my step by step guide for the summer unready:
BOTULINUM TOXIN - A little history
Fri 1 June 2018
Don’t we love a brand? From our handbag, to our sunnies, via our fat free cola to our hope in a jar potions, brands label our world. These must-have logos surely made their owners rich beyond their dreams.
THE (NOT SO) GOOD OLD DAYS
Fri 18 May 2018
If you find yourself thinking the world has gone to the dogs and things just aren’t what they used to be, think again. In the world of plastic surgery, life is a whole lot better than in days of yore.
WHEN TO SEE A PLASTIC SURGEON
Fri 6 April 2018
I guess the big question I’d love to know is: when should I see a plastic surgeon? Just me? Here are some pointers to help you decide. If the following apply to you, yes, it’s time to see a plastic surgeon!
SPICE UP YOUR LIFE
Sat 3 March 2018
Oops! Did you spot the typo? For a moment there I thought it was ‘Spice up your LIFE’ but no, the raffle prize at the recent notorious Presidents Club gala dinner promised to spice up your WIFE. If you haven’t already heard, a course of plastic surgery with the slogan ‘spice up your wife’ was one of the prizes the male diners could bid for. Now, like crime in a multistorey, this is wrong on so many levels. But are we just being prudish and overly PC to object?
PUSHING THE BOUNDARIES
Tue 30 January 2018
Did you see the recent BBC2 programme Surgeons – On the Edge of Life? If you missed it, do catch it on iplayer. It’s a gripping watch and any squeamishness is gone by the 5 minute mark as you root for both patients and medical staff.
Tue 16 January 2018
Whilst the neat hourglass is considered the most perfect and balanced body shape, in reality many women are apple or pear shaped: not so much hourglass as wine glass or flower vase. Looking at what female body shapes have been considered most desirable over the centuries is hugely reassuring: whatever your figure, be it voluptuous Rubenesque or skinny heroin chic, at one time in history it was what everyone wanted.
WHAT EVERY (WO)MAN WANTS
Fri 8 December 2017
Don’t we all want to look beautiful? And young, pert, smooth skinned and glowing with health. If there’s a quick fix to beauty, we’re up for it. Early nights, eating our greens and hitting the gym are hard work – give me a jar of magic to do the trick any day.
MAKE A WISH
Fri 3 November 2017
It’s that time of year again when the C word is beginning to be whispered, or rather shouted, in every retail park in the country: Christmas is coming. Doe eyed models pout from every Christmas catalogue – they clearly haven’t got the in laws coming to stay. Perfect families grin across tables laden with festive treats – no one’s in a strop, having a tantrum or shouting: ‘That’s it! I’ve had it. You can buy your own presents!’ Shops brim with black, red and gold sequinned numbers – just right for cold weather then the boiler’s playing up. Don’t we love the festive countdown.
Fri 6 October 2017
Society is obsessed with age. It’s the new hot topic as our demographic changes. Life expectancy is growing by 5 hours a day and a third of people born today can expect to live to 100. The average age in Britain is now over 40.
Fri 15 September 2017
Plastic Surgeons in the UK are dealing with a new group of patients: victims of violent assault who have had a corrosive substance thrown at their faces. Most common in South Asia, with the highest number of attacks in Bangladesh, instances in the UK rose by 74% in 2016. And the acid we are talking about can also be an alkali: it refers to any corrosive substance used for attack. Attacks are prosecuted as actual or grievous bodily harm and as of 2017 it is unlawful to carry ‘acid’ with intent to cause harm. Many victims are afraid to come forward so the true number of attacks is thought to be grossly under reported.
Tue 12 September 2017
Cosmetic surgery: that’s just another lifestyle choice, like a new kitchen, a long haul holiday or the latest SUV, isn’t it? You may have glanced at the adverts in the back of gossip magazines and seen lists of clinics offering breast enhancement alongside aspirational furniture, home improvements and clothing. After all, once you’ve done up your house, why wouldn’t you want to consider a makeover as well? Equally, a breast augmentation may be something that you have thought of since your youth. Simple, no? Well actually no, a big fat NO!
Tue 11 July 2017
The NHS comes in for a lot of stick these days. Every newspaper has a red faced rant from an indignant smart alec who could run their local hospital so much better if only they got the chance. There are horror stories galore, embroidered and exaggerated, wheeled out after a few drinks for maximum effect. Fingers wag, heads shake, wide eyed disapproval is shared.
FACIAL SKIN CARE - July 2017
Tue 27 June 2017
My father learnt woodwork from an old man in Australia so my childhood is perfumed with wood shavings. I spent weekends holding bits of wood while he planed, sanded and wire woolled until the surface was silky smooth. All done by hand with no whining power tools. It was true craftsmanship.
SKIN CANCER - June 2017
Sat 3 June 2017
I am meeting my friend (we’ll call her Chantal) for coffee. She’s funny, feisty and juggles a house full of kids with her work, dog and partner’s business trips. She waves to me as I enter the café and I sit down opposite. I can’t help noticing the bandage at the base of her neck. ‘Are you OK?’ I ask. ‘You’ve noticed!’ she laughs. ‘The strangest thing happened.’